The Tortured Poets Department
inter-office memorandum · strictly confidential
- to:
- you, the poet on duty
- from:
- the chairman
- re:
- file no. 018 · oct 21wednesday, october 21, 2026
subject
imgonnagetyouback
the department’s findings
“mischief is a mood, not a plan.”
feel the competitive spark today, then decide if the prize is worth it.
- do · approved
- make a list titled “evidence”
- don’t · denied
- send a five-minute voice note
witness statement · page 2 of 2
the subject was seen at listening to this on repeat.
motive: .
verdict: all's fair in love and poetry.
evidence bag · exhibit 18
one typewriter ribbon, slightly used.
handle with care · do not reread at 2am